


Y U No Pants

by campylobacter



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Dementia, Emperor's New Clothes, Episode Related, Gen, Humor, Kōan, Missing Scene, Pants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 18:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campylobacter/pseuds/campylobacter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing scene relating to 7x02 "Homecoming": Lord Yu's 1st Prime Oshu begins to doubt his lord's godhood. Also, PANTS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Y U No Pants

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate title: **The Emperor's New Kōan**
> 
> Written for the [SG-1 Allies Alphabet Soup festival](http://sg-fignewton.livejournal.com/240075.html).  
> [image source](http://memegenerator.net/instance/26906513)

"Bring me pants."

"My Lord, you are wearing them."

Lord Yu doesn't bat an eyelash. "I desire the pants with the red and gold dragons."

Yu's First Prime rues that day he was forced to assume the duties of the late lo'taur Jarran; domestic chores added to military command in His Lordship's service have become exhausting. "Are the pants you are wearing with the red and gold dragons not the ones you desire, my Lord?"

"You are clever, Oshu," Yu says as he rises from the sarcophagus. "These are the pants I desire. I am the oldest of the system lords; my wants are simple. Those younglings assume that the voices and memories crowding their minds make them great, make them gods."

"My Lord?"

"I am not great because I am a god, but am a god because I am great. I listen to the only voice in my head: my own."

Oshu begins to wonder if Yu has lost the only other voice he could have heard in his mind: that of the host. Yu's reposes in the sarcophagus have become less effective in restoring mental acuity. "My Lord, you are wise in all things."

"Why then have you not brought me pants?"

Oshu stifles a sigh. Where was an ambush by Ba'al when you needed one?

**Author's Note:**

> I originally was going to write crackfic about Loki trolling Thor with rageface comics, but the inspiration for it was based on [someone's comment about what I finally figured out was the Avengers fandom](http://campylobacter.tumblr.com/post/11200654630/ivanolix-i-came-across-someones-comment-on-lj) LOL. I was watching Fallen/Homecoming and then this happened.


End file.
